Even I haven't mentioned it previously I'm an ardent believer in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Robert Ellis, PhD., the father of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, REBT for short, came up with 11 irrational thoughts which we turn into beliefs that may stop us in our tracks stymieing our growth. The list is paraphrased below with some additions all of which are, as he stated, are IRRATIONAL.
1.) It is necessary to be like and approved by everyone.
2.) I should be good or perfect at everything I do.
3.) When people are bad they should be punished.
4.) Everything that happens is catastrophic.
5.) All my unhappiness is caused by those around me.
6.) It is upsetting when things are not like I want them to be.
7.) I should always be strong so others can always depend on me.
8.) The past is all-important.
9.) I should get involved in others problems.
10.) It is terrible when I cannot find solutions to my problems.
11.) I can achieve happiness by doing absolutely nothing.
12.)Failing at something means I'm a failure in all facets of my life.
13.) I can succeed at everything I attempt.
14.) I should feel shame if I show a weakness.
15.) People will think less of me if I make a mistake.
16.) I should always be able to depend on my significant other or friend when I need them.
Dr. Ellis also talked about, what he referred to as, the three mustabatories, "Must", "Should", "Ought". Who says we should ought or must do anything? If we don't will we or others
shatter like a porcelain doll?
Do any of the above fit you? Where might you be without these weights holding you down?